everyone is getting into relationships and growing up and I’m just getting lazier and finding more tv series to watch
some people have sex in the kitchen
i eat in my bed
when my parents complain about me
"This isnt a project that you will be able to do the night before"
what if when you killed someone you gained their best trait
#you think you’re killing someone for their brain and you get their nose instead #you think you’re killing someone for their strength and you get their baking skills instead #you think you’re killing someone for their cunning and you get their ability to parallel park
write a goddam book
"when women wear makeup they’re basically lying to us" well i don’t see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to really think i have red and gold eyelids
kids these days are so spoiled
when i was your age we had an animated disney castle intro
and we had to walk uphill both ways to see it
Barefoot, in the snow
Running away from velociraptors
AND WE WERE THANKFUL.